Divorce is never easy and you don’t have to make it harder by fighting it out in court.

Here’s a little secret most people don’t know… 90-95% of divorces never go to trial. Most people are finally wising up and using other ways to handle their divorces. When dealing with divorce law advice, it’s important to understand all aspects of divorce, especially the alternative dispute resolution methods. Alternative dispute resolution methods, also known as ADRs, are revolutionizing the way people are getting divorced. They are saving time, money, stress and most of all your privacy.

The best part?

You maintain control of the process and not some stranger who doesn’t know you or your family.

In this article, we will go over:

• The different types of ADR methods
• When to use each ADR method
• The true cost and benefits
• How to choose the best option for you

What Is Alternative Dispute Resolution?

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) is pretty much what it sounds like.

Alternative Dispute Resolution is any method that allows you and your spouse to work out issues in your divorce outside of a courtroom. Instead of fighting it out in front of a judge you will work with specially trained professionals to come to an agreement that makes sense.

Recent studies show that 93% of divorcing parents used some form of ADR. People are finally waking up to the fact that there’s a better way.

The Main Types Of ADR

Now let’s go over the 4 main types of ADR.

Mediation: The Number 1 ADR Option

ADR methods are great, but mediation is the most popular ADR of them all.

Mediation is a process where a neutral third party sits down with both you and your spouse and helps work out all the disagreements. The mediator does not make decisions for you, they only facilitate the discussion.

And the crazy part…

Mediation has an 80% success rate of actually reaching an agreement.

Here is a closer look at the mediation process:

• Both you and your spouse meet with the mediator.
• Property division, child custody, child support and other issues are discussed.
• The mediator helps you both reach common ground.
• You both reach an agreement that both parties can live with.
• The mediator drafts the settlement agreement.

With mediation, you get to stay in control of the outcome.

Arbitration: Your Option When You Need A Decision

Arbitration is very similar to mediation except for 1 major difference.

Instead of just facilitating discussion, an arbitrator makes the decision for you. It’s like a mini private judge.

Here are a few differences between arbitration and mediation:

• The decision is binding. You have to go by the arbitrator’s decision.
• It is not as formal as a court process.
• It is much quicker than a regular trial.
• Everything is private and confidential.

Think of arbitration as a streamlined court process.

Collaborative Divorce: The Team Approach

Collaborative divorce is where everyone works together.

Each spouse has their own attorney and everyone signs a participation agreement. If for some reason the process doesn’t work and you have to go to court, the attorneys are required to withdraw from the case.

The collaborative divorce team often includes:

• Attorneys for both you and your spouse
• A divorce coach or therapist
• Financial specialist
• Child specialists in cases where children are involved

Collaborative divorce means you have a team of professionals guiding you through the process.

Settlement Conferences

Settlement Conferences are also known as four-way meetings.

Attorneys for each spouse, the spouses themselves, and sometimes a neutral third party all meet together before trial to try and work out agreements. Settlement conferences are less formal than arbitration but more structured than mediation.

Why ADR Makes Sense

Let’s go over some of the real benefits of using ADR.

Save A Lot Of Money

Did you know…

The average cost of an uncontested divorce in the United States is $4,100. However, a contested divorce can cost you $12,900 or more. That’s over 3 times the cost!

ADR methods are almost always a cheaper alternative to traditional litigation.

Protect Your Privacy

Court proceedings are public record.

This means if you get a divorce in a courtroom anyone can walk in and see you sweat it out in front of a judge. With ADR, you keep everything private. Your financial secrets, personal challenges and family drama remain between the parties involved and the professionals.

Reduce Stress & Conflict

Litigation is an adversarial process.

ADR is not. Divorce litigation pits you against your spouse in a fight to the end. ADR encourages cooperation between the parties, which is important when you have children and need to co-parent in the future.

Get Results Faster

Courts are backed up.

In some cases, it may take months or even years to get your day in court. ADR processes can typically be finished much quicker since you’re not waiting for court dates.

ADR Might Not Be Right For You

But there are times when ADR is not right for you.

ADR is not appropriate when:

• Domestic violence is present or has been present.
• Your spouse is lying about finances or trying to hide assets.
• One spouse has a significant advantage over the other.
• Someone just doesn’t want to play ball.
• Complex legal issues require a judge’s decision.

Safety is the most important thing. If any of these apply to you, stick with traditional litigation.

How To Choose The Best ADR Method

So how do you know which ADR method to use?

• Can you communicate with your spouse reasonably? If so mediation may be a good choice. If you can’t even be in the same room together, you may need arbitration.
• How complicated is your situation? Straightforward divorces do well with mediation, complex divorces with hidden assets require a full collaborative team.
• Do you generally agree on most issues? If yes, mediation could work. If you are worlds apart you may need arbitration.
• How much can you afford to spend? Mediation is usually the most affordable. Collaborative divorce is more expensive but still far cheaper than litigation.

Making ADR Work For You

So you’ve decided to give ADR a try. Now what?

Before getting into the nitty gritty of the divorce process, it’s important to be prepared. Organization and honesty are key. Be upfront about what is most important to you. Be solution-oriented, not problem-oriented. Focus on issues, not personalities. Listen to the concerns of your spouse even if you don’t agree.

The best part about ADR is that it gives both spouses a chance to speak freely and honestly. Avoid interrupting your spouse, it’s not a negotiation. Don’t get defensive, it will only make your spouse dig their heels in further. Stay calm and focused.

ADR is all about finding common ground. Remember the goal is not to win. The goal is to reach a mutually agreeable outcome so both you and your spouse can move forward.

Bringing It All Together

Alternative Dispute Resolution methods provide a better option for divorcing couples than the traditional adversarial courtroom setting.

Mediation, arbitration, collaborative divorce and settlement conferences all provide better ways to get divorced with less stress, less money, more privacy and faster results.

The facts are clear, most divorcing couples are already successfully using these methods. Perhaps it’s time you learned more and chose one of these methods as well.

If ADR is safe and appropriate for your situation, it can mean the difference between a divorce that drags on for years and one that comes to a timely, reasonable conclusion.